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It’s OK…

Given that March 8th is International Women’s Day, there were so many ways to approach today’s post.

I could have written about inspirational women, or about empowering our daughters and ourselves.  I could have written about inner beauty or about how women can conquer the world.

The truth is, I’m not feeling particularly empowered today, nor am I feeling particularly beautiful or inspired.

I am having a very “real” day with all of the corresponding feelings of not being enough and not doing enough, even though I’m somehow always on the go, caring for those around me and rarely taking time for myself even though I know how important it is. (But I did read a book this weekend and am hoping to share that with you soon 🙂 )

So instead of a poem to inspire you or a list of women who have inspired me, I’ve given myself permission to go about this differently and in so doing, share with you all of the things I have learned to give myself permission to do…because it’s OK to give ourselves permission.

If there is one thing I have learned as a woman, it’s that life is a work in progress. The list below of what’s OK is by no means all-inclusive.

I invite you to share what your experiences have taught you to give yourself permission to do.  Please comment and add to the list.  Perhaps in doing so we can all remind each other of how it’s OK to be who we are and to do what we do.

OK…I’ll be honest: I’m feeling a teensy bit inspired right now because the idea of women compiling a list of what they’ve decided is OK is making me think that this could be a very special list: a list we can pass on to our daughters and grand-daughters, our sisters and friends, our nieces and cousins…a list that can relieve women of the guilt we seem to bear ALL THE TIME.

Now I have to get started… I really hope you will join me and PLEASE add something to the list!

It’s OK…

  • to miss work because your kids are sick.
  • to let your sick kid watch TV all day because you have to work.
  • to wear pajamas to drive the kids to school in the morning.
  • to get dressed & fully made-up when you’re going to be in the house all day, just because it makes you feel good.
  • to serve a ready-made BBQ chicken for dinner (and yes, it is actually cheaper than buying fresh and cooking it yourself).
  • to prepare a 5-course meal for no reason other than the fact that you were inspired by a head of kale at the grocery store and one thing led to another…
  • to want alone-time with your spouse.
  • to want time all by yourself even if that means wishing you could be alone on a desert island where nobody needs you for anything.
  • to lock the bathroom door because it’s actually the only alone-time you can get.
  • to realize that locking yourself in the bathroom isn’t satisfactory and book a night, a weekend or a week away.
  • to book that time away alone or with your spouse, as needed.
  • to take a pregnancy test and pray that it’s negative.
  • to resent the woman above because the 36 tests you’ve taken have all been negative.
  • to love your children so much you’d do anything to protect them.
  • to love your children enough to let them experience disappointment.
  • to put your family first.
  • to put yourself first.
  • to bottle feed.
  • to breastfeed in public.
  • to volunteer because you want to give back.
  • to hold back on volunteering because charity starts at home.
  • to want to be treated like a princess.
  • to take care of yourself.
  • to realize you can’t do it all by yourself.
  • to need help.
  • to ask for help.
  • to NEED a haircut.
  • to make sure it never gets to the point that you NEED a haircut.
  • for your kids to NEED a haircut.
  • to make sure it never gets to the point that your kids NEED a haircut.
  • to give yourself permission.
  • to forgive the unforgivable.
  • to forgive yourself.
  • to look for prince charming.
  • to realize that prince charming isn’t perfect and be OK with it.
  • to accept that you’re not perfect and be OK with it.
  • to keep striving for perfection because that’s how you grow.
  • to expect others to accept you for your imperfect self.
  • to share freely.
  • to keep some things to yourself.
  • to really want to win the lottery.
  • to feel like you’ve won the lottery even though you’re knee-deep in debt but happy and in love.
  • to have a crappy day even though you know you should appreciate your health.
  • to prioritize your health over anything else.
  • to realize that “me-time” makes you a happier and more productive person.
  • to rationalize taking “me-time” by reminding yourself  that it makes you a better mom and spouse.
  • to seek therapy if you need it.
  • to practice shopping therapy if you can afford it.
  • to read this list and others like it to remind yourself that it’s all OK…
  • to fill in the next bullet point(s) with the very thing(s) you’re thinking about right now because it will make another woman feel better…

Here’s to all of us…

Some days inspired and some days less so,
Some days we’re sad and some days we glow
For what we’ve done and for what’s in store
We are women…hear us roar!!!

And I just realized another:

It’s OK to start off a blog post feeling a little uninspired and then, simply by sharing your thoughts and feelings, to have a complete turnaround 🙂

Please share your “It’s OK’s…” We all need to hear/read them!

Happy International Women’s Day!


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  1. Thanks Tanya!

    I was having a rotten day but you’ve put a smile on my face!

    It’s ok…

    To scream every swear word in the book while in labour.
    To ask for an epidural.

    • My pleasure Stacy…and you just put a smile on mine!!!
      How could I have forgotten those two??? THANK YOU!!!
      Hope your day gets better…but if it doesn’t…it’s OK 😉

  2. Tanya I love this post! I am in the middle of writing one of my own but took a little break to read yours.

    Happy Women’s day to you my amazing friend. I have one more to add to your list.

    To realize that when your feeling down, it’s okay to lean on a girlfriend for support. That you don’t have to do everything alone, that sometimes being strong is being able to admit when your not.

    Lots of love and hugs to you today!!

    • Thanks Patty! Please make sure to let me know when yours goes live so that I can check it out!
      Thank you for these fabulous words of wisdom…you are SOOOO right.
      Love & hugs right back to you sweet & wonderful woman!!!

      • I am in total agreement with you Dahna! I love them too 🙂 Happy #IWD!

  3. It’s OK to slow down and smell the roses, for sometimes, even doing nothing is doing something.
    Just to name a few (in no particular order):
    It’s OK to leave dirty dishes in the sink.
    It’s OK to lose, but when you lose, don’t lose the lesson!
    It’s OK NOT to be OK…just know who an how to seek support if you should need it.
    It’s OK to let go of people, of things, of ideas, if they do more harm than good (and ONLY YOU can determine which category they fall under).
    It’s OK to admit that you can’t do it all…if g-d took 6 days to create the world, what makes us think we can do it in 1?

    • Thanks so much for sharing Corrie! These are FANTASTIC!!! I love that “even doing nothing is doing something”…I’m going to keep that one handy 🙂

  4. Hey Bella! Amazing post!!

    It’s ok to:

    – wear the same clothes wore yesterday (after having leaned them on the laundry basket in anticipation you would wear them again)

    – stay positive even though you may have every reason to not stay positive

    – be sad/depressed/angry/tired/whatever and forget what everyone else will think if you are not being who everyone knows you to be

    – count your blessings and move on even though it may be the absolute hardest thing to do

    – feel like a cow when you double pump for your twins!

    – tell people they are rude when they give you rude comments about your multiples/big family, or anything for that matter…

    ….you got me on a roll!!! I sense an additional blog post to this!

    Love ya!

    • Thanks so much Julia! These are GREAT and I completely agree…especially with #1…which I did today…AFTER I wrote my post..and thought that I should have had it on the list!!!! Thank you for adding it!
      HUGE LOL about the pumping for twins…been there-done that-felt that way and yes, I called myself an all-night-dairy-bar and joked about making milkshakes when I laughed…and yes…it’s all OK!!!
      Sensing another post are you? I’m with you… Huge Hug & Happy #IWD!!!

  5. It’s OK to:

    – Love your child with all your heart and soul, yet still want to go back to work

    – Drink an overpriced Starbucks coffee while you read trashy magazines

    – Never admit that you read trashy magazines

    – Eat ice cream. Often.

    • Thanks Suzannah! Love it!! …and thinking I’m in the mood for some ice cream… Happy #IWD!

  6. Thanks Tanya for making me smile and cry at the same time!
    Here’s mine…

    It’s ok to:
    – nap while your newborn baby is napping
    – add hair conditioner in the shower even if you hear the baby crying
    – not feel guilty for the any of the above

    • Glad I made you smile 🙂 Totally agree & I LOVE LOVE LOVE the conditioner comment. No guilt! You go mama! Happy International Women’s Day!!!

  7. and it’s OK to admit to being too tired to think about a reply to a great blog 🙂

    • Yes it is! Thanks Bonnie! Wishing you a Happy International Women’s Day and a great night’s sleep! xo

  8. Wait, I forgot one:

    It’s OK to watch Top Gun only for the volleyball scene.

    Happy IWD!

    • while eating ice cream…of course!!! LOVE IT!!! Keep them coming!!!! Happy IWD!

  9. This is beautiful, Tanya.

    My addition:

    It’s OK to throw yourself a pity party, invite your friends, serve champagne and realize we truly are not alone in feeling that some days are just too much.

    • Thanks Sara 🙂 I have to say I haven’t tried it…while I don’t aspire to have one of those days…maybe when I do I will try this & let you know how it goes!!! Happy #IWD!

  10. It’s okay to ask, nay DEMAND a 2-deep-breath-long
    hug when you need one!

    • LOVE IT!!! Thanks for sharing Julie!!

  11. It’s ok not to let anyone walk all over you. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t a loving person, it means that you love yourself enough NOT to let that happen.

    • Brandy- I am SO glad you added this. So true, yet somehow many of us (especially women, it seems,) have a very hard time with this concept. I am sure that I will personally be revisiting this comment a few times this year for a “booster shot” 🙂 I also have a feeling our fellow readers will be benefiting from this little ‘nugget’ as well. Thank you.
      Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

  12. Its ok to toot your own horn sometimes. Loud and proud is ok too!

    • Love it! Thanks for sharing this, Joyce! Many of us women need a little encouragement with this one… Have an awesome day! xo

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