Montrealmom.com
  • Being Mom
    • Planning /Pregnant
    • Mom of Infant
    • Mom of Toddler
    • Mom of Schoolage Child
    • Mom Of Teen
    • Mom of Twins or More
  • Life
    • Time Management
    • Work & Entrepreneurship
    • Family & Relationships
    • Childcare & Education
    • Money
    • Me.
  • Fun
    • Event Calendar
    • Crafts & Activities at Home
    • Organized Activities
    • Outings
    • Holidays & Celebrations
    • Disney Fun
  • Food
    • Recipes
      • All
      • Baby Food Recipes
      • Beef
      • Beverages
      • Breads
      • Desserts
      • Eggs & Dairy
      • Fish
      • Pasta
      • Poultry
      • Salads
      • Sauces & Dressings
      • Sides
      • Snacks
      • Soups
      • Vegetarian
    • Menu Planning
    • Nutrition
    • Entertaining
  • Lifestyle
    • Health & Safety
    • Home & Garden
    • Holidays & Celebrations
    • Weight Watchers
    • Shopping
    • Fashion & Beauty
    • DIY
    • Living Green
    • Montreal
  • Travel
    • Family
    • Travel Tips
    • Disney
  • Reviews
    • Books
    • Entertainment
    • Apps & Tech
    • Automotive
    • Products & Services
    • Toys
  • Directory
    • Activity Centers
    • Caterering / Pret À Manger
    • Classes
    • Home Services
    • Parties and Related Services
    • Photographers
    • Professional Services
    • Services
    • Services for Mom
  • Work with Us
  • About
    • About Us
    • In the Media
  • Contact

Montrealmom.com

  • Being Mom
    • Planning /Pregnant
    • Mom of Infant
    • Mom of Toddler
    • Mom of Schoolage Child
    • Mom Of Teen
    • Mom of Twins or More
  • Life
    • Time Management
    • Work & Entrepreneurship
    • Family & Relationships
    • Childcare & Education
    • Money
    • Me.
  • Fun
    • Event Calendar
    • Crafts & Activities at Home
    • Organized Activities
    • Outings
    • Holidays & Celebrations
    • Disney Fun
  • Food
    • Recipes
      • All
      • Baby Food Recipes
      • Beef
      • Beverages
      • Breads
      • Desserts
      • Eggs & Dairy
      • Fish
      • Pasta
      • Poultry
      • Salads
      • Sauces & Dressings
      • Sides
      • Snacks
      • Soups
      • Vegetarian
    • Menu Planning
    • Nutrition
    • Entertaining
  • Lifestyle
    • Health & Safety
    • Home & Garden
    • Holidays & Celebrations
    • Weight Watchers
    • Shopping
    • Fashion & Beauty
    • DIY
    • Living Green
    • Montreal
  • Travel
    • Family
    • Travel Tips
    • Disney
  • Reviews
    • Books
    • Entertainment
    • Apps & Tech
    • Automotive
    • Products & Services
    • Toys
  • Directory
    • Activity Centers
    • Caterering / Pret À Manger
    • Classes
    • Home Services
    • Parties and Related Services
    • Photographers
    • Professional Services
    • Services
    • Services for Mom
  • Work with Us
  • About
    • About Us
    • In the Media
  • Contact
Being MomLifeMe.ParentingThoughts

It’s OK…

written by Tanya Toledano

Given that March 8th is International Women’s Day, there were so many ways to approach today’s post.

I could have written about inspirational women, or about empowering our daughters and ourselves.  I could have written about inner beauty or about how women can conquer the world.

The truth is, I’m not feeling particularly empowered today, nor am I feeling particularly beautiful or inspired.

I am having a very “real” day with all of the corresponding feelings of not being enough and not doing enough, even though I’m somehow always on the go, caring for those around me and rarely taking time for myself even though I know how important it is. (But I did read a book this weekend and am hoping to share that with you soon 🙂 )

So instead of a poem to inspire you or a list of women who have inspired me, I’ve given myself permission to go about this differently and in so doing, share with you all of the things I have learned to give myself permission to do…because it’s OK to give ourselves permission.

If there is one thing I have learned as a woman, it’s that life is a work in progress. The list below of what’s OK is by no means all-inclusive.

I invite you to share what your experiences have taught you to give yourself permission to do.  Please comment and add to the list.  Perhaps in doing so we can all remind each other of how it’s OK to be who we are and to do what we do.

OK…I’ll be honest: I’m feeling a teensy bit inspired right now because the idea of women compiling a list of what they’ve decided is OK is making me think that this could be a very special list: a list we can pass on to our daughters and grand-daughters, our sisters and friends, our nieces and cousins…a list that can relieve women of the guilt we seem to bear ALL THE TIME.

Now I have to get started… I really hope you will join me and PLEASE add something to the list!

It’s OK…

  • to miss work because your kids are sick.
  • to let your sick kid watch TV all day because you have to work.
  • to wear pajamas to drive the kids to school in the morning.
  • to get dressed & fully made-up when you’re going to be in the house all day, just because it makes you feel good.
  • to serve a ready-made BBQ chicken for dinner (and yes, it is actually cheaper than buying fresh and cooking it yourself).
  • to prepare a 5-course meal for no reason other than the fact that you were inspired by a head of kale at the grocery store and one thing led to another…
  • to want alone-time with your spouse.
  • to want time all by yourself even if that means wishing you could be alone on a desert island where nobody needs you for anything.
  • to lock the bathroom door because it’s actually the only alone-time you can get.
  • to realize that locking yourself in the bathroom isn’t satisfactory and book a night, a weekend or a week away.
  • to book that time away alone or with your spouse, as needed.
  • to take a pregnancy test and pray that it’s negative.
  • to resent the woman above because the 36 tests you’ve taken have all been negative.
  • to love your children so much you’d do anything to protect them.
  • to love your children enough to let them experience disappointment.
  • to put your family first.
  • to put yourself first.
  • to bottle feed.
  • to breastfeed in public.
  • to volunteer because you want to give back.
  • to hold back on volunteering because charity starts at home.
  • to want to be treated like a princess.
  • to take care of yourself.
  • to realize you can’t do it all by yourself.
  • to need help.
  • to ask for help.
  • to NEED a haircut.
  • to make sure it never gets to the point that you NEED a haircut.
  • for your kids to NEED a haircut.
  • to make sure it never gets to the point that your kids NEED a haircut.
  • to give yourself permission.
  • to forgive the unforgivable.
  • to forgive yourself.
  • to look for prince charming.
  • to realize that prince charming isn’t perfect and be OK with it.
  • to accept that you’re not perfect and be OK with it.
  • to keep striving for perfection because that’s how you grow.
  • to expect others to accept you for your imperfect self.
  • to share freely.
  • to keep some things to yourself.
  • to really want to win the lottery.
  • to feel like you’ve won the lottery even though you’re knee-deep in debt but happy and in love.
  • to have a crappy day even though you know you should appreciate your health.
  • to prioritize your health over anything else.
  • to realize that “me-time” makes you a happier and more productive person.
  • to rationalize taking “me-time” by reminding yourself  that it makes you a better mom and spouse.
  • to seek therapy if you need it.
  • to practice shopping therapy if you can afford it.
  • to read this list and others like it to remind yourself that it’s all OK…
  • to fill in the next bullet point(s) with the very thing(s) you’re thinking about right now because it will make another woman feel better…

Here’s to all of us…

Some days inspired and some days less so,
Some days we’re sad and some days we glow
For what we’ve done and for what’s in store
We are women…hear us roar!!!

And I just realized another:

It’s OK to start off a blog post feeling a little uninspired and then, simply by sharing your thoughts and feelings, to have a complete turnaround 🙂

Please share your “It’s OK’s…” We all need to hear/read them!

Happy International Women’s Day!

Tanya

It’s OK… was last modified: March 4th, 2016 by Tanya Toledano
28 comments
0
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Tanya Toledano

previous post
Well-said Wednesday
next post
Re-thinking School…

You may also like

Celebrating 25…lbs, That Is! #WellnessWednesday

June 28, 2017

Every Butt Counts

September 20, 2011

My Dance with Cancer and How it Inspired My New Business

September 3, 2021

A World Without Dieting

July 15, 2014

I’m Back :) … and Here’s What I’ve Been Up To:

August 14, 2013

Thoughts, Reactions & a Few Giggles #TheMorningAfter

April 8, 2014

Labour & Delivery

March 9, 2010

Beware Sweet Children…Mommy May Give You a Ticket!

October 12, 2012

Whose Homework is it Anyway?

November 3, 2011

The Poppy Effect

November 11, 2011

28 comments

Stacy Simhon March 8, 2012 at 11:50 am

Thanks Tanya!

I was having a rotten day but you’ve put a smile on my face!

It’s ok…

To scream every swear word in the book while in labour.
To ask for an epidural.

Reply
Tanya March 8, 2012 at 11:54 am

My pleasure Stacy…and you just put a smile on mine!!!
How could I have forgotten those two??? THANK YOU!!!
Hope your day gets better…but if it doesn’t…it’s OK 😉

Reply
PositivelyPamperedPatty March 8, 2012 at 11:57 am

Tanya I love this post! I am in the middle of writing one of my own but took a little break to read yours.

Happy Women’s day to you my amazing friend. I have one more to add to your list.

To realize that when your feeling down, it’s okay to lean on a girlfriend for support. That you don’t have to do everything alone, that sometimes being strong is being able to admit when your not.

Lots of love and hugs to you today!!

Reply
Tanya March 8, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Thanks Patty! Please make sure to let me know when yours goes live so that I can check it out!
Thank you for these fabulous words of wisdom…you are SOOOO right.
Love & hugs right back to you sweet & wonderful woman!!!

Reply
Dahna March 8, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Love your comments Patti!

Reply
Tanya March 8, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I am in total agreement with you Dahna! I love them too 🙂 Happy #IWD!

Reply
Corrie Sirota March 8, 2012 at 5:51 pm

It’s OK to slow down and smell the roses, for sometimes, even doing nothing is doing something.
Just to name a few (in no particular order):
It’s OK to leave dirty dishes in the sink.
It’s OK to lose, but when you lose, don’t lose the lesson!
It’s OK NOT to be OK…just know who an how to seek support if you should need it.
It’s OK to let go of people, of things, of ideas, if they do more harm than good (and ONLY YOU can determine which category they fall under).
It’s OK to admit that you can’t do it all…if g-d took 6 days to create the world, what makes us think we can do it in 1?

Reply
Tanya March 8, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Thanks so much for sharing Corrie! These are FANTASTIC!!! I love that “even doing nothing is doing something”…I’m going to keep that one handy 🙂

Reply
Julia March 8, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Hey Bella! Amazing post!!

It’s ok to:

– wear the same clothes wore yesterday (after having leaned them on the laundry basket in anticipation you would wear them again)

– stay positive even though you may have every reason to not stay positive

– be sad/depressed/angry/tired/whatever and forget what everyone else will think if you are not being who everyone knows you to be

– count your blessings and move on even though it may be the absolute hardest thing to do

– feel like a cow when you double pump for your twins!

– tell people they are rude when they give you rude comments about your multiples/big family, or anything for that matter…

….you got me on a roll!!! I sense an additional blog post to this!

Love ya!

Reply
Tanya March 8, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Thanks so much Julia! These are GREAT and I completely agree…especially with #1…which I did today…AFTER I wrote my post..and thought that I should have had it on the list!!!! Thank you for adding it!
HUGE LOL about the pumping for twins…been there-done that-felt that way and yes, I called myself an all-night-dairy-bar and joked about making milkshakes when I laughed…and yes…it’s all OK!!!
Sensing another post are you? I’m with you… Huge Hug & Happy #IWD!!!

Reply
Suzannah March 8, 2012 at 9:38 pm

It’s OK to:

– Love your child with all your heart and soul, yet still want to go back to work

– Drink an overpriced Starbucks coffee while you read trashy magazines

– Never admit that you read trashy magazines

– Eat ice cream. Often.

Reply
Tanya March 8, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Thanks Suzannah! Love it!! …and thinking I’m in the mood for some ice cream… Happy #IWD!

Reply
Bonnie March 8, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Thanks Tanya for making me smile and cry at the same time!
Here’s mine…

It’s ok to:
– nap while your newborn baby is napping
– add hair conditioner in the shower even if you hear the baby crying
– not feel guilty for the any of the above

Reply
Tanya March 8, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Glad I made you smile 🙂 Totally agree & I LOVE LOVE LOVE the conditioner comment. No guilt! You go mama! Happy International Women’s Day!!!

Reply
Bonnie March 8, 2012 at 10:11 pm

and it’s OK to admit to being too tired to think about a reply to a great blog 🙂

Reply
Tanya March 8, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Yes it is! Thanks Bonnie! Wishing you a Happy International Women’s Day and a great night’s sleep! xo

Reply
Suzannah March 8, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Wait, I forgot one:

It’s OK to watch Top Gun only for the volleyball scene.

Happy IWD!

Reply
Tanya March 8, 2012 at 10:29 pm

while eating ice cream…of course!!! LOVE IT!!! Keep them coming!!!! Happy IWD!

Reply
Sara at Saving For Someday March 8, 2012 at 11:57 pm

This is beautiful, Tanya.

My addition:

It’s OK to throw yourself a pity party, invite your friends, serve champagne and realize we truly are not alone in feeling that some days are just too much.

Reply
Tanya March 9, 2012 at 12:02 am

Thanks Sara 🙂 I have to say I haven’t tried it…while I don’t aspire to have one of those days…maybe when I do I will try this & let you know how it goes!!! Happy #IWD!

Reply
Julie March 9, 2012 at 1:46 pm

It’s okay to ask, nay DEMAND a 2-deep-breath-long
hug when you need one!

Reply
Tanya March 9, 2012 at 1:47 pm

LOVE IT!!! Thanks for sharing Julie!!

Reply
Brandy March 9, 2012 at 2:50 pm

It’s ok not to let anyone walk all over you. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t a loving person, it means that you love yourself enough NOT to let that happen.

Reply
Tanya March 9, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Brandy- I am SO glad you added this. So true, yet somehow many of us (especially women, it seems,) have a very hard time with this concept. I am sure that I will personally be revisiting this comment a few times this year for a “booster shot” 🙂 I also have a feeling our fellow readers will be benefiting from this little ‘nugget’ as well. Thank you.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Reply
Joyce Shanks March 12, 2012 at 9:23 am

Its ok to toot your own horn sometimes. Loud and proud is ok too!

Reply
Tanya March 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Love it! Thanks for sharing this, Joyce! Many of us women need a little encouragement with this one… Have an awesome day! xo

Reply
Holiday Greetings & Readings | montrealmom.com December 21, 2012 at 1:24 pm

[…] It’s OK… […]

Reply
LAUGH. LIVE. LEARN. More Good Reasons to Go See BAD MOMS - Montrealmom.com July 26, 2016 at 11:54 am

[…] I wrote a post a long time ago.  It was International Women’s Day and I was also having a particularly crummy morning.  I was somehow inspired to write the following post, which was quite well-received over social media. I feel like it ties in SO well with this that I just have to share it with you again: It’s called: It’s OK. and you can read it by clicking HERE. […]

Reply

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Recent Posts

  • GIVEAWAY: Enter for Your Chance to WIN One of Fifteen Family Packs of Four Passes to See the Montreal Advance Screening of Marvel Studios’ ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania’

  • GIVEAWAY: Enter for a Chance to WIN One of Ten Family Packs of Four Passes to See the Montreal Advance Screening of Disney’s Strange World!

  • NEW! Pre-K Program in the West Island at Inventor STEM School!

  • It Took Me Over Two Years To Let My Guard Down…and Less Than Two Days to Test Positive.

  • GIVEAWAY: ENTER for a Chance to WIN One of Five FAMILY PACKS OF FOUR PASSES to See the Montreal Advance Screening of Disney and Pixar’s ‘Lightyear’ !

Subscribe to our Newsletter

  • #GIVEAWAYALERT Who would like to see the Montreal Advance Screening of Marvel Studios’ 'Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quant… https://t.co/lzjoGC9Ohk

    01-Feb-2023

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Must share that I LOVE @TommyBahama -and that it’s available online in #Canada 💗 Not only are the dresses the BEST…… https://t.co/mHrgGKHFIc

    12-Dec-2022

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • #GIVEAWAYALERT ENTER for a chance to WIN one of 10 FAMILY PACKS OF FOUR PASSES to see the Montreal Advance Screenin… https://t.co/FRs4UGrUqU

    08-Nov-2022

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Still looking for a Pre-K program with an enriching and educational experience in a half-day format? You'll be thri… https://t.co/xyrdoJ4SGd

    15-Aug-2022

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • #GIVEAWAYAlert Who would like to see the Montreal Advance Screening of Disney and Pixar's 'Lightyear'?!? ENTER… https://t.co/riTuuYJQgM

    07-Jun-2022

    Reply Retweet Favorite
team-teluspg-mom-badge

Archives

Categories

LATEST FROM INSTAGRAM

Follow on Instagram

AS SEEN ON TV

Subscribe to montrealmomTV on YouTube to be the first to see Tanya's latest videos.
  • Our Family’s Experience with the Ford Expedition

Subscribe to our Newsletter

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Youtube
  • Periscope
Footer Logo

© 2016 montrealmom.com. All rights reserved  |  Powered by Red Dream Studios


Back To Top
We use cookies on our website to give you the best experience on our website. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT