It’s OK…

Given that March 8th is International Women’s Day, there were so many ways to approach today’s post.

I could have written about inspirational women, or about empowering our daughters and ourselves.  I could have written about inner beauty or about how women can conquer the world.

The truth is, I’m not feeling particularly empowered today, nor am I feeling particularly beautiful or inspired.

I am having a very “real” day with all of the corresponding feelings of not being enough and not doing enough, even though I’m somehow always on the go, caring for those around me and rarely taking time for myself even though I know how important it is. (But I did read a book this weekend and am hoping to share that with you soon )

So instead of a poem to inspire you or a list of women who have inspired me, I’ve given myself permission to go about this differently and in so doing, share with you all of the things I have learned to give myself permission to do…because it’s OK to give ourselves permission.

If there is one thing I have learned as a woman, it’s that life is a work in progress. The list below of what’s OK is by no means all-inclusive.

I invite you to share what your experiences have taught you to give yourself permission to do.  Please comment and add to the list.  Perhaps in doing so we can all remind each other of how it’s OK to be who we are and to do what we do.

OK…I’ll be honest: I’m feeling a teensy bit inspired right now because the idea of women compiling a list of what they’ve decided is OK is making me think that this could be a very special list: a list we can pass on to our daughters and grand-daughters, our sisters and friends, our nieces and cousins…a list that can relieve women of the guilt we seem to bear ALL THE TIME.

Now I have to get started… I really hope you will join me and PLEASE add something to the list!

It’s OK…

• to miss work because your kids are sick.
• to let your sick kid watch TV all day because you have to work.
• to wear pajamas to drive the kids to school in the morning.
• to get dressed & fully made-up when you’re going to be in the house all day, just because it makes you feel good.
• to serve a ready-made BBQ chicken for dinner (and yes, it is actually cheaper than buying fresh and cooking it yourself).
• to prepare a 5-course meal for no reason other than the fact that you were inspired by a head of kale at the grocery store and one thing led to another…
• to want alone-time with your spouse.
• to want time all by yourself even if that means wishing you could be alone on a desert island where nobody needs you for anything.
• to lock the bathroom door because it’s actually the only alone-time you can get.
• to realize that locking yourself in the bathroom isn’t satisfactory and book a night, a weekend or a week away.
• to book that time away alone or with your spouse, as needed.
• to take a pregnancy test and pray that it’s negative.
• to resent the woman above because the 36 tests you’ve taken have all been negative.
• to love your children so much you’d do anything to protect them.
• to love your children enough to let them experience disappointment.
• to put your family first.
• to put yourself first.
• to bottle feed.
• to breastfeed in public.
• to volunteer because you want to give back.
• to hold back on volunteering because charity starts at home.
• to want to be treated like a princess.
• to take care of yourself.
• to realize you can’t do it all by yourself.
• to need help.
• to ask for help.
• to NEED a haircut.
• to make sure it never gets to the point that you NEED a haircut.
• for your kids to NEED a haircut.
• to make sure it never gets to the point that your kids NEED a haircut.
• to give yourself permission.
• to forgive the unforgivable.
• to forgive yourself.
• to look for prince charming.
• to realize that prince charming isn’t perfect and be OK with it.
• to accept that you’re not perfect and be OK with it.
• to keep striving for perfection because that’s how you grow.
• to expect others to accept you for your imperfect self.
• to share freely.
• to keep some things to yourself.
• to really want to win the lottery.
• to feel like you’ve won the lottery even though you’re knee-deep in debt but happy and in love.
• to have a crappy day even though you know you should appreciate your health.
• to prioritize your health over anything else.
• to realize that “me-time” makes you a happier and more productive person.
• to rationalize taking “me-time” by reminding yourself  that it makes you a better mom and spouse.
• to seek therapy if you need it.
• to practice shopping therapy if you can afford it.
• to read this list and others like it to remind yourself that it’s all OK…
• to fill in the next bullet point(s) with the very thing(s) you’re thinking about right now because it will make another woman feel better…

Here’s to all of us…

Some days inspired and some days less so,
Some days we’re sad and some days we glow
For what we’ve done and for what’s in store
We are women…hear us roar!!!

And I just realized another:

It’s OK to start off a blog post feeling a little uninspired and then, simply by sharing your thoughts and feelings, to have a complete turnaround

Please share your “It’s OK’s…” We all need to hear/read them!

Happy International Women’s Day!

Tanya