I pride myself on my practicality. My hubby and I decided many years ago to skip the Valentine’s celebration. The need to make plans, spending money on cards, flowers, gifts…Who needed it? We know that we love each other and that should be enough. Lucky to be comfortable enough with that knowledge,we didn’t need a commercial holiday to remind us. It was an impractical use of our time and money. February 14th then became a celebration of how ‘cool’ we both were by not buying into all of this Valentine’s business.
So why have I been rethinking that philosophy this year? I still don’t feel the need to go out to dinner. I’d rather we didn’t spend $20 on flowers (or even $10), I don’t want or need chocolates…so I’m still my practical self…so what’s going on? Why do I feel the need to celebrate?
Because practicality is one thing but apathy is quite another. Because I miss the me that used to LOOK FOR excuses to celebrate.
Because once upon a time, not only would I celebrate my birthday, but every moment leading up to it. I’d say things like “This is that last 15th of the month that I will be 19 year old”. Every moment was worth celebrating- whether it was an anniversary, a friend in town for a visit or completing an exam.
Somehow, over the years, my birthday ceased to matter as much (to me) and we pride ourselves on being flexible as to when we celebrate our milestones. “We’re not fixated on dates” is our classic line (as a result, we celebrated our anniversary 3 months later this year). Don’t get me wrong, I love that we allow ourselves the flexibilty. I love that we’re not fixated, but I guess I keep thinking that what we’ve actually done is allowed, somehow, day-to-day activity to trump celebration, and that’s NOT cool. Putting the celebrating ahead of the work, ahead of the logic, keeps us focused on what’s important.
And so this year, we will continue to be practical, so we won’t go out & spend all kinds of money on cards & chocolate. We’ll still have chicken fajitas with the kids for dinner and make sure their homework is done and their teeth are brushed. Valentine’s Day is not our own special milestone. It is, however, an excuse to celebrate.
And so tonight you won’t find me in my office or on Twitter or on Facebook and you won’t find my hubby “just sending one more email”. Because tonight, when the kids go to bed, we will have a date night at home. We haven’t yet figured out if that will mean chatting by the fire, over a glass of wine, with some Jazz music playing in the background or cuddling up to watch something we PVR’d 6 months ago but still haven’t gotten to. The point is, that whatever we do, we will celebrate being together, and the fact that we can still be practical while celebrating the moment.
How, if at all, do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Wishing you special moments and excuses to celebrate. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Love this Tanya. I feel the same. My hubby was always ‘not making a big deal’ about celebrations of any kind. And with time, I started to do the same. However, now those celebrations have been rekindled thanks to our little ones. Which in turn gives us second thought about celebrating our moments together. Great post! PS was sick in bed all Valentine’s Day!!! Lol
[…] Valentine’s Day hasn’t always been a ‘thing’ in our home, or in or ‘couple’, to be honest. It’s been more of a ‘Are we doing anything for Valentine’s this year?’, with a very pragmatic (joint) feeling of ‘No, we don’t have any time’. Even when it was just the two of us, before kids, we felt that we didn’t need a specific day to express our love to one another, we could do that at any time. Now, it’s not because my hubby and I feel the need to buy into the commercialization of a holiday…but a few years ago I posted about seizing any chance to celebrate. We stop everything to deal with problems…why not stop to celebrate, even just for a moment…and to bring a little spark of joy into our lives ? So Valentine’s Day became ‘an excuse to celebrate‘. […]