I have wanted to tell this story for quite some time, but my husband and my daughter needed to be ok with it. My hubby was fine with it long ago, but my daughter felt embarrassed despite the fact that we told her over and over again that the whole ordeal was truly not her fault, I respected her wishes to hold off.
My daughter has a beautiful and giving heart and she just LOVES to give gifts and surprise her loved ones. She has been like this since she was very young. Going back a few years, she had started to learn how to search for gifts on Amazon but did not have access to our account. If there was something she wished to buy…even if it was with her own money, she would have to go through myself or my husband so that we could access the account and pay by credit card.
One Mother’s Day she gifted me with a lovely necklace that was a moon with a heart dangling in the centre and engraved with the words ‘Mom – Forever in my heart’.
It was beautiful and I wore it with pride, but there was something that didn’t feel right about it. I could not put my finger on it…It was larger than most pieces I would wear, but I had worn larger pieces before….It was beautiful and super-
thoughtful…so what was wrong with me that I kept feeling like something was ‘off’? I felt awful for having ‘that feeling’ and I kept it to myself.
One day, I somehow noticed that the heart could be disconnected – it actually had a screw-top – and I couldn’t figure out why, but my antenna must’ve started to go up because I decided to look up the necklace online using the brand name that was on the velvet bag. It came up on Amazon:
HooAMI Cremation Jewelry Forever in My Heart CZ Heart Urn Necklace Memorial Ash Keepsake
OK Then.
The fact that my daughter gifted this to me from the most loving place in her heart, without having any understanding of the words ‘cremation’ or ‘urn’, was actually pretty funny. The fact that my husband had surely approved the purchase on Amazon was NOT funny at all.
I called him.
‘Can you please open your computer?’
‘Why?’
‘Just do it, please.’
‘I’m on’
‘Can you please go into your Amazon account?’
‘Why?’
‘Just do it, please.’
‘I’m in’
‘Can you please review what it was that you ordered for our daughter to give me for Mother’s Day’
‘The necklace?’
‘Yes. Just please do it.’
‘It’s here.’
‘Can you please READ it???’
SILENCE
‘Oh my G-d.’
‘MmmmHmmm.’
‘Oh my G-d.’
‘Mmmmhmmm.’
‘I – I – I-….’
‘Tell me…do you READ what she asks you to purchase or do you just click and go?’
‘I-I-I-I….’
After a good laugh, the remainder of the conversation surrounded whether or not I would continue to wear the necklace and if I didn’t, how we would explain it to her. I did not want to break my daughter’s heart…but a CREMATION URN? And one that is intended to hold Mom’s (MY????) ashes????
I told the story to my own Mom (who has since passed Z”L) and she said ‘No way do you continue to wear that!!!’
I don’t remember how we broke the news to my daughter, but I do remember that she was devastated. My heart broke for her and we kept telling her it was not her fault and that she could not have known what it was. And oh yes, we BOTH told her that Daddy should have paid closer attention.
My daughter happens to have a great sense of humour and is gratefully a very resilient being, which is a big part of the reason that we felt we could tell her. She still had guilt about it that was definitely not hers to bear but over the years we have laughed about it and this year I got the green light to tell the tale 🙂
Allow this to serve as a PSA to all Dads (to all parents, really…) When your child asks to purchase something pretty on Amazon for Mommy (or Daddy, or anyone…) Make sure to READ THE DESCRIPTION FULLY before clicking ‘Buy Now’.
Was this the worst Mother’s Day gift I have ever gotten? Not by a long shot. My daughter put her heart and soul into searching to find something that she found beautiful for me. In addition, our family got a great story out of it. So it really wasn’t a bad gift at all 😉
The moral of the story? READ BEFORE YOU CLICK.
I hope that your Mother’s Day was a beautiful day where you felt loved and appreciated for everything that you do… but in case that didn’t happen (as is often the case, even if you waited in bed wide awake for an hour of clanking dishes for the requisite ‘breakfast in bed’ ), I hope that you were, at the very least, blessed with a PEACEFUL day- free of worry, conflict, laundry and the burden of the mental load.
And if that didn’t happen either, then take solace in the fact that at least you did not get a cremation urn on your special day 😉
Have a great Day
Tanya
