I just finished reading The Go-To Mom’s Parents’ Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children by Kimberley Clayton Blaine and I will start off by saying that I will be adding it to the list of parenting books I recommend to Moms on montrealmom.com.
As someone who has worked closely with children for her entire career, as well as being a Mom herself, Kimberley Clayton Blaine understands the frustrations when kids act as they will and not necessarily as we would like them to. That said, she illustrates through various examples, how to emotion coach your child through difficult moments & situations by empathizing with her. This will help your child to develop into a stronger, more confident person who can, as time & development progress, effectively communicate when something is bothering her as well as one who can and will show you the respect of hearing you out.
Think of yourself: Are you more likely to respect someone who dismisses you and discounts your feelings, or someone who shows empathy and validates your feelings when you are upset? Why would a child behave any differently?
As parents in today’s busy world, we are continually on the go, overworked, overwhelmed and exhausted. Add in a whiny child or a temper tantrum and we can lose it. Parents are often depleted of energy and can deal with such situations through punishment, removal of privileges, withdrawing of affections, or yelling. Kimberley explains that our children NEED to be coached by us on how to deal with their emotions. It is our job to do it. By taking the time and energy necessary to devote to emotion coaching them, it will pay off later. Kimberley demonstrates that by empathizing with your child rather that punishing, your child will learn to be an independent, well-adjusted member of society.
I’ll admit that I could identify with certain examples that were illustrated in the book. I’ll further admit that while the book made me feel good as a parent for having dealt effectively with many situations, I was also left with the feeling that I might have dealt with certain situations more effectively. As a parent who takes the time to listen to and to guide my children, I am certainly not infallible. I don’t think any of us are. I do believe however, that if I had read The Go-To-Mom’s book prior to having my children, I would have had an additional perspective that would have been very helpful. I highly recommend this book to all Moms. I think that ideally, Moms who are pregnant with their first child should take the time to read it while there is still time to read. 🙂 You will enter motherhood with an enlightened perspective. Emotion coaching does have the potential to revolutionize the way most of us were raised to parent. Pay it forward to our kids – Let’s raise them with the love & respect that we all know they deserve.
Have you heard of emotion coaching? Have you read The Go-To Mom’s Parent’s Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children? What did you think about the book? What do you think about emothion coaching in general? I’d love to hear your thoughts and examples of emotion coaching young children.
Have a wonderful afternoon. May it be whine & temper-free. If it isn’t, I wish you the strength to get through it & let me know how it goes!