It's OK…Take 2

written by Tanya Toledano

Last year, I wrote this post in honour of International Women’s Day to remind women everywhere that we need to give ourselves permission…

I actually re-read this post from time to time to remind myself that “It’s O.K.”. I have even tweeted it out during the year as a little reminder.

Well, in honour of International Women’s Day, I thought I would re-post the main message because we could all use that little reminder once in a while.

I have also added the “It’s OKs …” that you left in last year’s comments 🙂

It’s OK…

to miss work because your kids are sick.
to let your sick kid watch TV all day because you have to work.
to wear pajamas to drive the kids to school in the morning.
to get dressed & fully made-up when you’re going to be in the house all day, just because it makes you feel good.
to serve a ready-made BBQ chicken for dinner (and yes, it is actually cheaper than buying fresh and cooking it yourself).
to prepare a 5-course meal for no reason other than the fact that you were inspired by a head of kale at the grocery store and one thing led to another…
to want alone-time with your spouse.
to want time all by yourself even if that means wishing you could be alone on a desert island where nobody needs you for anything.
to lock the bathroom door because it’s actually the only alone-time you can get.
to realize that locking yourself in the bathroom isn’t satisfactory and book a night, a weekend or a week away.
to book that time away alone or with your spouse, as needed.
to take a pregnancy test and pray that it’s negative.
to resent the woman above because the 36 tests you’ve taken have all been negative.
to love your children so much you’d do anything to protect them.
to love your children enough to let them experience disappointment.
to put your family first.
to put yourself first.
to bottle feed.
to breastfeed in public.
to volunteer because you want to give back.
to hold back on volunteering because charity starts at home.
to want to be treated like a princess.
to take care of yourself.
to realize you can’t do it all by yourself.
to need help.
to ask for help.
to NEED a haircut.
to make sure it never gets to the point that you NEED a haircut.
for your kids to NEED a haircut.
to make sure it never gets to the point that your kids NEED a haircut.
to give yourself permission.
to forgive the unforgivable.
to forgive yourself.
to look for prince charming.
to realize that prince charming isn’t perfect and be OK with it.
to accept that you’re not perfect and be OK with it.
to keep striving for perfection because that’s how you grow.
to expect others to accept you for your imperfect self.
to share freely.
to keep some things to yourself.
to really want to win the lottery.
to feel like you’ve won the lottery even though you’re knee-deep in debt but happy and in love.
to have a crappy day even though you know you should appreciate your health.
to prioritize your health over anything else.
to realize that “me-time” makes you a happier and more productive person.
to rationalize taking “me-time” by reminding yourself that it makes you a better mom and spouse.
to seek therapy if you need it.
to practice shopping therapy if you can afford it.
to read this list and others like it to remind yourself that it’s all OK…
to fill in the next bullet point(s) with the very thing(s) you’re thinking about right now because it will make another woman feel better…

And from YOU, my fabulous readers who filled in those blanks last year:

to scream every swear word in the book while in labour.
to ask for an epidural.
to lean on a girlfriend for support. That you don’t have to do everything alone, that sometimes being strong is being able to admit when your not.
to slow down and smell the roses, for sometimes, even doing nothing is doing something.
to leave dirty dishes in the sink.
to lose, but when you lose, don’t lose the lesson!
to NOT be OK…just know who an how to seek support if you should need it.
to let go of people, of things, of ideas, if they do more harm than good (and ONLY YOU can determine which category they fall under).
to admit that you can’t do it all…if g-d took 6 days to create the world, what makes us think we can do it in 1
to wear the same clothes wore yesterday (after having leaned them on the laundry basket in anticipation you would wear them again)
to stay positive even though you may have every reason to not stay positive
to be sad/depressed/angry/tired/whatever and forget what everyone else will think if you are not being who everyone knows you to be
to count your blessings and move on even though it may be the absolute hardest thing to do
to feel like a cow when you double pump for your twins!
t0 tell people they are rude when they give you rude comments about your multiples/big family, or anything for that matter…
to love your child with all your heart and soul, yet still want to go back to work
to drink an overpriced Starbucks coffee while you read trashy magazine
to never admit that you read trashy magazines
to eat ice cream. Often.
to nap while your newborn baby is napping
to add hair conditioner in the shower even if you hear the baby crying
to not feel guilty for the any of the above
to admit to being too tired to think about a reply to a great blog
to watch Top Gun only for the volleyball scene.
to throw yourself a pity party, invite your friends, serve champagne and realize we truly are not alone in feeling that some days are just too much.
to ask, nay DEMAND a 2-deep-breath-long hug when you need one!
to NOT let anyone walk all over you. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t a loving person, it means that you love yourself enough NOT to let that happen.
to toot your own horn sometimes. Loud and proud is ok too!

Here’s to all of us…

Some days inspired and some days less so,
Some days we’re sad and some days we glow
For what we’ve done and for what’s in store
We are women…hear us roar!!!

And one more:

It’s OK to re-post a blog that resonated with so many so that it can give offer that same feeling of support again, and again, and again. AS NEEDED 😉

Please share your “It’s OK’s…” We all need to hear/read them!

Happy International Women’s Day!

Tanya